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	Since this article does not have an abstract, we have provided the first 98 words of the full text and any section headings.

Anthropoids surprise local children’s ward.
Or, Six secular, pretend apes loped through local pediatric hospital.
Students and sick children.
Or, Six staggered-height, costumed, muddy students suggest an evolutionary condensation while distributing acorns to children on chemotherapy.
Monkey business on children’s ward.
Or, Crippled children puzzled by four-foot, costumed, club-carrying imitations of Homo habilis plus five progressively taller, less-hairy progeny distributing acorns.
Cro-Magnons on pediatrics.
Or, Art school with good name-recognition sends hairy-costumed students of staggered heights, mumbling, burping, and slobbering through children’s rehab ward, leaving a trail of pretend feces, soft persimmons, real Baby Ruth, and many smiles.¹

Ed Spudis, MD

1. Goodman NW. Survey of active verbs in the titles of clinical trial reports. BMJ. 2000;320:914-915. FREE FULL TEXT

Arch Pediatr Adolesc Med. 2005;159:934.

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